Sunday, March 14, 2010

Profound Discharge #2 (Chris)

I am more than willing to admit that I am lazier than most. Far lazier, perhaps, would be a more accurate descriptor. As such, there are times when I really just don’t feel like taking a dump. Chief among these times is when a really rockin’ tune comes on. No, I’m not talking about the latest Ciara single. No one cares. I’m talking about timeless classics. All you really want to do is lean back and rock the hell out, but you’ve got last night’s dinner ready to get the hell out of Dodge.

For anyone, this could be a major problem. Especially for those of us who are too poor or too stupid to live on our own. For one disparaging collegian, the number of times a good song has been interrupted for a bowel evacuation is nigh uncountable (I ran out of fingers). However, times like this upcoming week provide a unique opportunity. The college is on spring break, but I didn’t head home. Oh no, not me. I plan on taking full advantage of the opportunity that I no longer have to close the door. Not only do I get a solid crosswind to take care of the stink (this can only go so far), but I can continue to rock out without having to worry about disturbing anyone else. It’s like rocking out with your cock out, except instead of a penis, it’s your own meadow muffin. Next time you’re feeling a big one, get everyone else in your general vicinity to go to a nearby park or something and try this magic. It’ll calm your soul.

-CT

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